Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
