sarcasm needs its own font
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
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