Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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