Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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