Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
