look no pants
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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