dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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