Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
