how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
