I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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