I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
