dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Enjoy the penises
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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