made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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