I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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