sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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