My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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