the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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