i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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