you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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