I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
