oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
