Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We are two peas in an std pod
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
