But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
