Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize