Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
