and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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