It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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