the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Too much gin, very little bucket
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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