lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
