On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I wish I could teleport
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
