it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
