just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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