just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he was CRYING into my vagina
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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