I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
