Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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