i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
that's an acceptable place to lick
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
