can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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