Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
