So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You were trust falling into bushes
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
