You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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