butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just cut my nipple shaving
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
