i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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