that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
