I can text with my tongue
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
