Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
