i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
