She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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