Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
