If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
