Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
