So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize