I am full of burrito and curiosity
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
