i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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