this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
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