My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
NoShamevember. You game?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
