I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
