I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
