i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
