hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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