some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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