I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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