so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
